Softening Your Heart

Through pain and experience, most of us have learned to guard our hearts. We may not trust or know how to keep our hearts open and loving.  In Buddhism  there are practices that guide you to gently open and cultivate a compassionate heart.  An awakened heart wants good and happiness for all, including oneself.   Often our sense of heartbreak in a relationship is not because we feel too much, but because we do not trust that our hearts can stay open, so we shut down, defend, avoid, cast  judgement & blame, effectively pushing the other away.  How to soften your heart?   Make the choice that you want your heart to stay open.   Then create a mediation or breathing practice that cultivates  an open heart.

A simple beginning, is to bring your awareness to your chest~ your heart chakra area, and breathe.  Feel any physical sensations that arise. Breathe deeply and slowly, asking your heart to soften.  Spend time breathing into the  front and back of your chest, breathing into your neck & shoulder area. Notice that all of these areas are related to your heart being open.  As you breathe  emotions may arise….allow everything.   You may at times have to coax your heart….with phrases like “You are safe to be open”, “It’s safe to love”, “You can release pain”.  These phrases or prompts can help your heart relax more fully.

Being Kind

Many teachers have written books full of wise words and practices around cultivating an open heart.  Pema Chodron, Michael Brown and Tara Brach, are a few of my favorites.  May each of us learn to trust keeping our hearts open, grounded, available, and loving.




Entering the battle field

This year has been a momentous year for me, in terms of personal growth.

One insight that’s been profound this year, is that in intimate relationships with our partner, children, and best friends…when we feel hurt, we often enter the battle field.  We take a position, push away & resist, ignore, stand our ground, accuse, blame, and make the other the enemy.  I read a phrase in a book recently that resonated deeply.  “When you enter the battle field, no one wins”.  We run the risk of causing damage to our relationships when our hearts close, we mistrust…we make those we love the enemy.  There’s a beautiful chapter in the book ~ Waking Up Together ~ Differences Without Division.  Part of my noticing this year will be ….noticing how I react when I feel hurt.  Am I blaming the other person for my feelings?  Is there a way to articulate my experience without cutting the other person down?  My desire this year is to stay alert, mindful and openhearted when faced with a situation that has triggered, tender, emotional, and at times volatile feelings.

Being Kind


A Positive Rampage Of Appreciation


Many of you are familiar with Ester Hicks who channels a collective group of spirit guides, affectionately called Abraham. In several of the Abraham recordings Ester/Abraham talk about a Positive Rampage Of Appreciation. I’ve experienced this to be incredibly simple and powerful.

The Rampage Of Appreciation focuses on affirming and appreciating what you have, in the present tense.

I’m so lucky  to live in Hawaii and be able to go to the beach..  I have a great job doing what I love to do.  My health is amazing.  I feel vital and creative.  I’m surrounded by great love in my life.  Amazing friends, clients and family grace my daily experience.  The universe supports all of my desires with positive action.  Money is flowing from fun and surprising sources…….

When business is a little slow, instead of worrying, I remember to go on a positive rampage.   Within 24 hours I’m often getting calls or emails for readings. if I’m feeling disconnected from friends and a little lonely I go on a rampage and guess what?  Emails and phone calls start pouring in.  The rampage is not just about what you are actually experiencing, but what you are intending to manifest in present time.  This is so simple that I think of it as Practical Magic.  Have fun and Rampage away……

Energy Flows Where Attention Goes

Each New Year many of us review our life and make New Years Resolutions

This is similar to saying ” I will now focus on, become aware of, or give energy to a particular part of my life. This is something we do naturally, select what is most valuable to us and give it energy. We give energy to things that we want, people that we love, and specific projects or goals. We also give tremendous energy to what we don’t want. Notice where your energy goes. Whatever you are thinking, whatever you are feeling, whatever you want or don’t want…your energy will go there. Are you giving energy to nurturing healthy people, and situations, or are you giving energy to people or situations that cause you to experience a loss of energy and health.  Energy flows where attention goes!

Becoming Aware of Your Backside

When I work with people I often see energetic holding patterns in the back of their body and aura.  These holding patterns are an accumulation of beliefs, experiences, fears and trauma.  One of the most common holding patterns I see is  the belief or idea that “I have to hold everything up and hold it together”.  This creates a rigidness in their physical body.  Their neck, shoulders and spine are often tight or restricted feeling.  The flow of energy is blocked..

One way to begin releasing the holding patterns behind you…is to practice bringing your attention to the back of your physical body, slowly scanning it, breathing deeply, training your body to relax and release, to soften and trust.  Real~eyes  that something bigger than you is holding things up, and together.  Reverse the habit of feeling isolated and solely responsible for everything…to trusting that the universe is backing you up.

Expectations ~ Desire

Today I find myself ruminating about expectations. When we expect something we define the experience we want to have before we have it. We are setting parameters in order to control an experience and desired outcome. This is a set up for disappointment. We can’t control every outcome or experience especially where others are concerned.

Whats the difference between expectation and desire? A clear desire arises from within you and feels resonate with your body and being. An expectation is an idea imposed by your mind or emotional body on a situation or person. You may desire closeness to someone…this is natural, but to expect that the other person will feel the same way or fulfill your desire is imposed.

How then to stay open to our natural desire without the overlay of expectation? Ahh this is the question isn’t it! Let desire flow through you, breathe into and through your desire but release the tendency to grasp, manipulate or control the outcome. Let yourself enter into the flow of life trusting that your desire will be met in a unique way, free of the limitation of your own expectation and control.

Letting Go Of Control

Letting go, Letting God

We are taught that control is power, success and seemingly necessary to achieve happiness. In the world of spiritual growth and awareness there is another possibility. You can live in trust and open curiosity. What happens when you let go of the need to control and stay in open, alert awareness? To release control offers an opportunity to look at your fear. Often fear underlies the impulse to control.

When you begin to relinquish control of outcomes, of what other people think, of how you are perceived, of what you should be doing, you will begin to feel freedom, flexibility and aliveness. You can become responsive to life instead of habitual. You will notice your values shift and align with something deeper and wiser.

Practice…letting go and as they say in the “course in miracles”…letting God.

Breathe & Release

We often hold our breathe surging forward headlong into our day, our life, the next adventure.
Taking time to stop and remind your body to breathe and release can signal your body to relax…to soften, to deepen. Instant stress relief in today’s unrealistically driven world.
Take a break…often, to breathe and release. Relax, surrender and soften.

Love Without Agendas

Heart of the world

When I first met my partner, I sat for sometime in meditation, asking for guidance about embarking on this new journey of love, and relationship. I distinctly remember hearing from guidance that this relationship would teach me about love without agenda’s and love without bounds. I was intrigued by these two statements.

As we’ve journeyed together, these two statements have been profound guideposts. What does it mean to have love without agendas? This is true unconditional loving. As a humanity we are just beginning to understand this transformation of our hearts. I experience myself shifting as I practice the list below….

Accept the person fully (this does not mean you like everything they do)

Stay present ~ when it’s difficult

Cultivate a willingness and interest in seeing your loved one’s point of view

Let go of expectation (when possible) and subsequent disappointment

Ask for what you need with kindness

Own your feelings, instead of projecting them

Open when you want to contract

Don’t place blame

Practice gratitude

Express blessings, appreciation and positive intention

Forgive everything that has felt unkind, painful or unloving

We are each a universe. Diverse, complex, and amazing. We cannot control someone else, how they feel or how they perceive life. But we can choose to evolve into, the most loving person in our world.

The Importance of Creativity in Transformation

Energy Body
We each come to this location in life. We don’t know where we are going, but we feel a big change is needed. Our movement feels awkward and stuck. We can’t settle into who we have been or what we have done in the past, and our new script isn’t fully written….This is the time to resource our creative muse in order to facilitate movement. We can journal, write poetry, dance, sing, paint, or engage in any creative endeavor. Keep the focus on movement not on outcome. In this way we encourage flow and self revelation.

Our fifth Throat Chakra ~ is the home of our individual creative expression. Speakers, writers, singers, and artists are all using this Chakra. If you feel lost, confused, uncomfortable with where you are right now….try moving the energy by expressing it through a creative channel. Good Luck!