When You Lose Your Partner ~ Where Do You Focus?

Often we center our life around another.  We mold our lives to fit theirs.  We use them as a grounding rod, a way to anchor our routines and experiences.  They give our life form and structure.

What happens when they’re gone?  The rug can feel pulled out from under your feet.  Where do you orient your attention now?  Back on your own center…back on your own life.

In this experience of loss, it often takes time to reshape your life and find complete grounding.  Simple practices help bring you back to the center of your life~now.   Two that are extremely helpful are “Finding Your Feet” and “Breathing Into Your Midline”.

To practice Finding Your Feet….take a deep breath, notice your feet, wiggle your toes.  When you feel like you have energy and awareness in your feet, plant them both firmly on the ground.  Press into the earth through your feet.  See deep roots traveling down into the earth, through the floor.   Let your breathing relax.  Feel the support~ it’s right there, under you.


To practice Breathing Into Your Midline….Locate the center of your body.  Spend a moment in each of the following locations.  Feel the center of your head and face, throat and lung area, solar plexus and belly, pelvic basin and perineum.  Imagine a hollow tube that runs from your crown chakra/top of head through the center of your body, down to the root chakra/perineum area.  Breathe into the center of yourself.   Bring awareness to the back of your central channel and breathe.  Bring your awareness to the right side of your central channel and breathe, bring your awareness to the front of your central channel and breathe,  bring awareness to the left side of your central channel and breathe.

Breathing into your midline

Rewriting The Story is another important practice.   If you keep recycling the same mental /emotional dialogue you may get stuck in the pain, grief and anger.  What story is an improvement?  How about. ” I am loved and supported in this time of transition”,  “I bring my awareness to my feet and grounding, feeling the ground under me”,  ” I am partnering with my higher self and hearts desire”, ” I am surrounded by Earth Angels, here to help me”.  Keep these posted as a way of reminding yourself.  (What a great word ~  Re~minding)

Being Kind & Compassionate With Yourself….This is a difficult time so honor this passage.  What things are nurturing and nourishing in your world.   Include more of these.   Get hugs from friends, eat well, get plenty of sleep. Know when you need time alone to integrate and practice reaching out to others when you feel lonely.

And Dear Hearts remember….this to shall pass.



  1. Nicely done, my darling and beloved sister!
    Modeling healing…very helpful and what a gift of sharing…
    Mahalo, Turia

Speak Your Mind